Finally made it!

Well, one of my major goals in life has been to make it onto the missed connections on craigslist. I am a regular reader for the comedic value alone, but I keep my fingers crossed that one of these times, just maybe, I will be the missed connection. Possibly something along the lines of:

I saw you - tall, pale, and nerdy - walking out of the burrito place. You had green tabasco on your face.

OR...

I saw you riding your bike in your superhero outfit, your chiseled pasty white calves and red hair blowing through the vents on your helmet were somethin else... somethin else. I have never in my life ever seen someone ride so fast or jump 18 moving school buses on a road bike before.

OR...

You stole my tiger at the Sundowner last night. I was out having a nice Valentine's day with my loyal date and you had to take her away from me. I chased you out of the Downer down Pearl Street before losing sight of you on 13th. I still can't believe that you didn't stop after noticing me sprinting after you in cowboy boots. So not cool. I don't know if you thought you were being clever or cute, but I love my tiger and I would like to have her back. Hopefully you woke up this morning and realized what you did was very thoughtless. Please contact me so Kitana can come home. --L

Wait a second, that last one is just too good to make up. REALLY! Proof here!
And here:Now, I'll say flat out, that I officially was NOT the one that took precious Kitana. My target was the ever more elusive white tiger (name unknown) that was accompanying Kitana. I know some people that know some people that took Kitana. But in the mayhem that ensued with the Kitana catjacking, that invloved a three highly trained (read: possibly intoxicated) individuals, I thought that I could easily sneak out unscathed with the ever evasive alibino kitty. Well, I caught the thing, made my way to the door, when... Wham! I get pushed from behind into a chair. I can honestly say that I had never been pushed over by a girl in a strapless dress with a gold sequined fanny pack until that night. Needless to say she wasn't amused, but the door guy was.

Wait, how old am I again?

Till next time folks,
The Neil